from the words, much applauded, of Rep. Jason Crow, D-Colorado,
after a mass shooting in Boulder, March 26, 2021
I grew up a hunter and served as an Army Ranger.
I grew up a hunter of brown bodies and served at the pleasure of empire's frontier.
I grew up on the range to hunt and to serve. and I was well-armed for it.
I was given free range to hunt and grew into the shape of an army.
I was raised up a hunter, and hunting was raised to the highest service.
I was at home when hunting and knew what army I served.
It was my pleasure to hunt for service and to serve the hunt.
I didn't take my hunting rifle to Afghanistan, nor did I take my assault rifle deer hunting.
I didn't take my assault rifle to the woods, nor did I take my hunting rifle to assault Afghan people.
I didn't take my deer rifle to shuffle through their lives, so far away.
I took one rifle to the deer in the woods, and I took the other rifle to people in their homes.
They needed the correction of assault to protect their rights.
They needed the assault of democracy to make them people, I mean to make them mortal.
They needed the hunt, I mean they took the assault. I needed the hunt.
I served rifles and I forgot deer. I knew I could not be hunted by either rifle.
Their brown bodies were not dear to me. My rifle attended them with great devotion.
I did seek the heat of them moving, through homes from door to each other's door.
I grew up for this hunt, to make them deer. I didn't take my assault for granted.
I didn't take just the hunt to Afghanistan. I took the service of assault, and I was rewarded for it.
I did hunt deer, I did assault people, but I didn't take their names home with me.
I took dear people from this life, and I took my rifles home. I don't know who took their homes.
Don't be fooled by the gun lobby. The type of gun matters.
Don't be fooled by me. My guns matter. Their lives do not.
Don't be lobbied by the deer. The type of empire matters.
Don't be lobbied by the dying. These types of guns matter too much.
The rifles want to matter. The deer can wait.
Don't be fooled by the empire lobby. The guns matter over there.
When the hunters and rangers return, the guns matter here, too.
Don't be fooled by hunters and rangers. The gun matters, and the deer, people do not.
I didn't take Afghan people into my account. They don't matter to the point I want to make.
I grew up to hunt what matters and served as a free-range assault.
Weapons of war have no place in our communities.
Weapons of war only have a place in your communities.
Weapons of policing do have a place in your communities.
The weapons of war serve the hunt of policing.
The police are hunters who have returned from the range. They hunt your dear ones.
The police are rangers who have returned from the hunt. They assault your dear ones.
The rifles taken from the range in Afghanistan now hunt the dear ones in your communities.
The rifles of war matter more than communities, and I grew up to serve my hunt, their assault.
We are fools for weapons of war, in our communities or yours.
Contributor’s Notes
Rasha Abdulhadi is a queer Palestinian Southerner living with Long Covid, They grew up between Damascus and rural Georgia and cut their teeth organizing on the southsides of Chicago and Atlanta. Rasha's writing has appeared in Poem-a-Day, Electric Lit, carte blanche, Anathema, Shade Journal, FIYAH, Mizna, ROOM, and Lambda Literary. Their work is anthologized in Essential Voices: A COVID-19 Anthology (forthcoming), Snaring New Suns, Unfettered Hexes, Halal if You Hear Me, and Luminescent Threads: Connections to Octavia Butler. A poet, and speculative fiction writer and editor, Rasha is a member of Muslims for Just Futures, the Radius of Arab American Writers, and Alternate ROOTS. Their recent chapbook is who is owed springtime.
